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Whether one wishes to call it patriarchy, or even Smelly-Feet Land. It is clear that one cannot deny that we today live in a world where man has privilege. Woman, as it were, is constantly second to man. It is of course okay to be second, but only insofar as both parties are given equal basic privilege, which is evidently not the case among man and woman. As for those who are skeptical of the above-mentioned claims, I invite you to take a careful look at the annual statistics of women’s salaries and compare them to those of men–wherein they both have the same privilege, that is, same position in the workplace. Or as a much simpler example, try to recall the last piece of text you’ve read and take a look at the pronouns presented therein. Can you find the pronoun “she”? The answer is not likely.

I am not interested in the causes of such state of being of a society. What interests me the most are the subtle notions. Notions which, on the outside, seem very regular and supportive toward women, but are less explicitly not only undermining, but also affirmative of the patriarchal structure, and even more powerful and impactful than those which are more explicit. Let us consider a couple of examples.

  1. Dick and Jane are very good friends. They have known each other for a couple of years. When Dick is not hanging out with his friends (who are gameholics and have absolutely no social life), he likes to go read with Jane at their favorite coffeeshop (don’t worry, they won’t end up dating–Jane is a Lesbian). Every time they go to the coffeeshop, Dick, like the gentleman he is, would open the door for Jane, thereby allowing her to enter first. But this is where we are mistaken: the fact that Dick opened the door for Jane is less a sign of respect, but more so a reaffirmation of the status quo. Dick is confirming to himself, and to Jane that he has privilege. We should not create this difference. It should not matter who enters first.
  2. Jane is facing a very difficult time at work. Her boss won’t send her to report on an important story. He instead sent her male colleague. Jane she comes to speak with the one person she trusts: Dick. Jane explains her problem and confesses that she feels frustrated and does not know if she could handle it. Dick replies by saying “don’t worry about it, Jane. You can do it–you have the power.” Dick here, though saying she could do it, has implicitly confirmed to himself, and to Jane that he is, as a man, far more superior. He should’ve said something like “try again, Jane.” Jane would have wanted Dick to support her in that way, and to show her that he is aware that the male colleague has privilege.

It is these subtle notions that I consider far more dangerous and impactful. We should be aware of them and work on refining them.

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The Kissing Booth 2 is happening!

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Netflix just dropped the nicest valentine’s gift that everyone has been waiting for since forever; as they have finally confirmed that The kissing Booth 2 is happening!

The news follows the announcement that Netflix’s other teen loved movie, ‘To All The Boys I’ve ever Loved Before’, is ALSO getting a sequel, and fans are going nuts.

According to some recent press release, the movie is currently under production phase, and filming will start up soon.

Co-star, Joel Courtney, made the announcement yesterday, through his twitter account.

King also tweeted out the promo video, with the caption: “YUP!!! WE’RE GETTING A SEQUEL!”

If you’re not on your tip toes by now, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? The movie is a Netflix hit, and basically the new ’10 things I hate about you’ of this generation.

The movie was also the most re-watched on the streaming site of 2018.

Release date is expected to be in 2020.

 

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Small things that are worthy of your attention

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Celebrate the little things that you fall for more often that you realize, these are the things that are worth your attention.

Count them, appreciate them and know that love comes in many ways, and sometimes its simplest form is what counts the most.

  1. Your mother’s unconditional love.
  2. Your morning coffee.
  3. The feeling after the first sip kicks in the caffeine.
  4. The smell of weather at 6 am.
  5. That winter breeze after long summer days.
  6. Your skin sensation after doing a skincare routine.
  7. That feeling that follows a good workout.
  8. Gatherings after being parted for a long while.
  9. Airport hugs.
  10. Morning hugs from your hubby.
  11. Walking your dog.
  12. Long fulfilling talks.
  13. The smell of freshly baked eatery.
  14. A good meal after hunger strikes.
  15. A sudden phone call from a long-distance friend.
  16. Finishing a good book.
  17. Having the time to enjoy your hobbies.
  18. Car rides with your favorite people.
  19. While listening to your favorite tunes.
  20. The sound of your favorite song on the radio.
  21. A good hair day.
  22. Sense of accomplishment.
  23. Finishing an assignment right before the deadline.
  24. Having breakfast by the Nile.
  25. Road trips.
  26. Attending your best friend’s wedding.
  27. Netflix and chill.
  28. Trying a new food, and liking it.
  29. Getting lost in a foreign city.
  30. Achieving a long-term goal.
  31. The smile of a new born baby.
  32. Seeing your loved one graduate.
  33. And witnessing them grow into the person they’re meant to become.
  34. Morning walk, hand in hand, with someone you love.
  35. Receiving a gift that you have casually mentioned wanting it.
  36. Buying someone a gift they have been looking for.
  37. And seeing them happy because of you.
  38. Helping someone get through a rough time.
  39. Managing to eat healthy.
  40. And the taste of junk food after a long diet.
  41. Doing a selfless deed.
  42. Reuniting with your pet after a long hectic day.
  43. A good night sleep.
  44. For not having to set an alarm.
  45. Buying a new notebook.
  46. Last day of exams.
  47. Family gatherings, and seeing them happy.
  48. Making your parents proud.
  49. Making YOURSELF proud.
  50. Having gratitude for all of the above.

You can be single on Valentine’s and still find a way, by yourself, to celebrate love. Choose a thing or two from above, that make you happy and do them. Because why celebrate one day a year, when everyday there are many things to be celebrated?

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A Journey towards self-love Pt1

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What makes us love people? It never really takes us a long while to realize that this person appeals to us, we instantly click at times; because one thing that they say will relate to us, one action will get us hooked. Whether that person will become a partner or a friend, we always choose those who are like us, with similar preferences, ones who bring us joy.

Why do you love him? They asked.

I answered with the usual “I don’t know.” But I did, somehow. It was just too extravagant to explain. I loved the shape his mouth took when a smile takes over his face, and that is why I would stare too long, way longer than I should. I loved how little he can do and yet be able to make me feel good, like nothing else mattered. As if his presence along with his smile is a whole other universe to where I belong, it was all that mattered.

Ask a person why they love their significant other and they probably wouldn’t know, ask a mother how she can tolerate so much, she probably wouldn’t know either. Because most of the times, it is this unconditional love that ease everything.

Now I wonder, why couldn’t I have loved myself as much?

Did I spend so much time loving others that I have forgotten to love myself first? I was only 13 when I started loving my best friends and I still love them to the moment. Have I loved my significant other way too much that my heart didn’t find a space to love both of us?

Now the thing is, you never really know how to define yourself, when we’re loved, we ask why? Maybe it’s the insecurities that make us wonder how can we be loved, or maybe it’s because the way we view ourselves is different than the way people perceive us. I think the reason we sometimes fail to love ourselves is because we define it based on how people perceive us.

“You’re too much to handle.”

“You were a bad friend.”

“Your insecurities will always keep you behind.”

Your friends tell you you’re beautiful, yet you find it hard to believe. They will love you and accept you, yet you still will question yourself. Because of all the above, when a person says something else, you’ll find yourself believing it over the good stuff that you were told. Because who’d say hurtful things and not mean it? But the others? The others are just complimenting you, right?

This is your first step towards loving yourself and that is to define it based on what your inner self tells you and not by the way people perceive you, give yourself the same amount of care you give to others.

At the end, you attract those who are like you, and if you find them so lovable, then it is just a reflection of yourself.

 

 

 

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