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Why Relationships Are So Demanding

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Romantic relationships are some of the most demanding type of unions there are. They weigh very heavily on us in a way that we recognize, but also in other ways that we do not necessarily see. The heavy weight which we don’t recognize is not something we don’t know, but rather something we don’t know that we know.

Let us keep it simple and talk about how this weight is created. The weight comes about as a result of certain paradoxes that take place within the relationship. These paradoxes are there for us to see, but we don’t always point at them and recognize them for what they are. Here are some of them:

  • Within the relationship, we gradually begin to demand certain things that we mistakenly think of as desires. They are in fact paradoxical. We demand a sense of belonging. We demand a sense of identity, but we also want transcendence and mystery.
  • We speak about security, but also about adventure. We want safety, but along with it we want risk and danger.
  • We demand comfort, but also edge. We demand novelty and a sense of originality, but we also want familiarity. We demand predictability and seek no unexpected events, but we also expect surprise.
  • We want the other to be our best friend and the person to trust and pour everything unto, but we also want to remain reserved and to keep things to ourselves. We wish to establish the strongest connection by getting the other as close as humanly possible, but at the same time expect the other to understand that we need distance and solitude.

It is all of these (and more) that put that heavy weight on our shoulders. We demand so much, we expect so much, but we don’t stop there: we then demand and expect the exact opposite from the other and somehow expect them to comply and understand. We don’t communicate it and we expect it to be applied.

How do we expect relationships to sustain with all of these existing? Why do we assume that they are all normal and have to be there? Why do we expect the other to have enough patience and understanding to live with these? How can we still claim to love the other when we treat them in ways that their energy cannot handle?

If we truly want to sustain our relationship with the other, we need to reflect on things like these. We need to re-visit our desires and evaluate them for what they are. We need to communicate it to the other.

1 Comment

1 Comment

  1. Alexjam

    December 10, 2018 at 8:45 am

    Hi Mohamed Najjar
    Yes, relationships take work. But when you’re falling in love with someone, it’s at least work you want to be doing.

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Lifestyle

It’s Chocolate/Flower Day!

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Today marks the 14th and in case you were too busy to shop the perfect gift, here’s a list of Instagram accounts and places that sell the cutest, most creative flowers and chocolates sets.

And even if you did buy a gift, flowers and chocolates are always a nice plus!

  • The Batter Half& Co.

Known for their innovative desserts and customized cakes, the Batter half is making beautiful packages of desserts and flowers, basically a girl’s favorite things.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thebatterhalf/

  • Lariba chocolate. 

The page is doing a fascinating chocolate related job, there is a variety of innovative chocolate shapes that surely will dazzle your one!

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/laribachocolate/

  • Bloom Dose. 

They create an elegant mix between chocolates and flowers, the beauty is in balancing between both, and they have done it quite well.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bloomdose/

  • Box of roses. 

Now, this is a personal favor, a box of perfectly set flowers that combines a vintage touch with a modern feel. And just FYI, a box of roses isn’t exclusive to a certain occasion.

They also have the famous Beauty & the Beast flower.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/boxofrosesegypt/

  • Keni flower shop.

Another personal favorite thanks to the diversity of their flowers, both in types and colors.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/keniflower/

  • Voila Dessert Shop. 

They offer artistic gourmet chocolates assortment, that are both catchy to the eye and yummy for the tummy!

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/voiladessert_eg/

Hope this list add an extra flavor to your day. Happy valentine’s and may the odds be in your favor!

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Lifestyle

The couple guide for Valentine’s day

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It’s almost Valentine’s day, the day which your love is tested based on the type of plans you have set for this day. So you better make the best out of it, and it can’t be just like any other outing and you can’t definitely ask her for suggestions, can you?

So here is us, offering you help with a list of ideas of things you can do. You’re welcome!

1. Make it a musical night.

For the ones who appreciate good music, then valentine’s is definitely better spent, swaying to the rhythm of tunes. Just make sure to pick places that are playing your favorite genre, and your partner’s.

Recommendations:

MxS: The Sinatras On Valentine’s Day @Darb1718

The band performs Frank Sinatra’s songs to praise his memory, and other pieces by similar artists and jazz tunes from the same period between 1940-1960.

Darb1718 have a monthly Music programs, where artists come and musical nights are held on their roof; presenting a unique experience with a limited seat numbers.

Date: Thursday 14 February 2019

Time: 8:00 PM

Tickets: 75 EGP

Tickets are available through “TicketsMarche”

2. Candle-lit dinner night.

Going old school is always a good idea, and appeals to a lot of couples who don’t like to change their rituals. But make sure to choose the right place and the right scenery.

Recommendations:

Eish & Malh @downtown Cairo

Located in the heart of Cairo, the restaurant is known for its coziness. And now, it’s offering a candle lit dinner with a special menu for Valentine’s Day and live music from 7- 10 PM. An extra thing to be added to its pro list, is that afterwards you can have a scroll in Downtown, maybe have some ice cream, or catch a movie.

They offer A la carte, specials, and pre-set menus.

No minimum.

For Reservations: 01098744014.

3. Take a road trip.

The car ride itself is going to make an enjoyable day, and the destination is just a plus! You can make it to Alexandria, it makes a perfect getaway especially this time of the year.

You can have dinner at one of El Shatby’s cafes, overlooking the sea. Another choice is Latino café, the food there is splendid and the view is very romantic! Afterwards, you can go for a walk in the streets of Alexandria, and have some ice cream @Azza before hitting the road again.

4. A day use in a hotel.

You can book a day use at a fancy hotel, reward your loved one with some spa time, then go for a dip. Or you can simply book dinner at their restaurants for those who don’t offer a day use.

Recommendations:

Mena Marriott Cairo:

With their view of the pyramids, they surely make a perfect destination for lovers. Just make sure to book the outdoor area when reserving over the phone.

Kempinski Nile Hotel Cairo:

Their Blue restaurant is your go-to place for a romantic date, their dinner set is a bit pricey but worth it. You will get to enjoy their authentic delicacies of the Mediterranean Turkish cuisine and live violin music.

For reservations: 02 27980000

5. Do it differently!

While everybody else will be obviously going for something romantic like the above, choose to do it differently! Go bowling or skiing @SkiEgypt, maybe even some arcade fun @Magic planet, get some take outs afterwards and cruise in your car while playing your favorite tunes. It doesn’t have to something fancy to be romantic, some girls like simplicity, if your is that kind, then choose a casual place where she can be herself in.
At the end, the scenery that matters is her smile, isn’t it?

 

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Relationship

The ‘Single’ guide for Valentine’s day

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It is this time of the year again, the time where teddy bears and flowers invades the streets, and you can ‘feel’ the love everywhere. It’s almost valentine’s day, a day that couples use as a time to reflect on their relationship. As for others, the single ones, they have resentment towards this day and often think of it as another capitalist approach for people of businesses to make more money. (I do too, I’m not judging).

So for all the single ones out there, here’s a list of things you could do, so you stop hating on others! (Again, no judgment folks.)

1. Have a movie marathon, preferably of ones that include your celebrity crush.

Since TV is probably going to be your loyal companion on that day, then you better make the best of it. Start making a list of your favorite movies, get loaded with munchies and Netflix and chill all valentine’s day!

2. Do some good, and babysit for a couple.

Know someone who could use this day off from their duties as a parent and spend the night with their partner? Do them a favor, and watch their kids for the day.

3. Make it your self care day.

You owe yourself a self maintenance day every now and then, not specific to this day! So pamper yourself with some spa time for instance, or maybe go out for some dessert? Or just stay in, and do a bubble bath, do that hair or skin routine you have saved but never tried! Doesn’t really matter, what counts is for you to enjoy your own company.

4. Single and ready to mingle?

Gather the rest of your single friends, go out and party! Don’t hold back just because you don’t have dates, go out and relive the freedom of being single.

5. Take the day off and unplug.

If the whole ‘love is in the air’ thing makes you gag, then it’s a chance for you to put your phone down and unplug. Do some yoga instead, or exercise.

Consider it a digital detox from all the hassle of valentine’s day!

6. Reflect on your past relationships.

Take the time to reflect on your previous relationships, study the reasons behind their failures. Singles tend to feel fragile during this day, and sometimes ends up feeling nostalgic and seeking the attention of an ex. But that’s just a moment of weakness, so in order to avoid it, remember all the reasons that made you leave in the first place and hang on to them.

7. Go on a shopping spree.

Take advantage of any possible offers or discounts and spoil yourself with the things you love the most.

8. Do a makeover.

Changing your hairstyle is always a good idea! Just don’t take any rush decisions, based on an irrelevant feeling.

9. Spend the night with a loved one.

Not necessarily a boyfriend or a girlfriend, sometimes your mother makes the perfect date. (Especially if she is the one paying.)

10. Read.

Read a romantic novel, maybe something for Nicholas Sparks or Colleen Hoover, and trust me you will no longer be sad about that ex, as it will make you reevaluate true love and that it only exists in novels.

 

 

 

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