Romantic relationships are some of the most demanding type of unions there are. They weigh very heavily on us in a way that we recognize, but also in other ways that we do not necessarily see. The heavy weight which we don’t recognize is not something we don’t know, but rather something we don’t know that we know.
Let us keep it simple and talk about how this weight is created. The weight comes about as a result of certain paradoxes that take place within the relationship. These paradoxes are there for us to see, but we don’t always point at them and recognize them for what they are. Here are some of them:
- Within the relationship, we gradually begin to demand certain things that we mistakenly think of as desires. They are in fact paradoxical. We demand a sense of belonging. We demand a sense of identity, but we also want transcendence and mystery.
- We speak about security, but also about adventure. We want safety, but along with it we want risk and danger.
- We demand comfort, but also edge. We demand novelty and a sense of originality, but we also want familiarity. We demand predictability and seek no unexpected events, but we also expect surprise.
- We want the other to be our best friend and the person to trust and pour everything unto, but we also want to remain reserved and to keep things to ourselves. We wish to establish the strongest connection by getting the other as close as humanly possible, but at the same time expect the other to understand that we need distance and solitude.
It is all of these (and more) that put that heavy weight on our shoulders. We demand so much, we expect so much, but we don’t stop there: we then demand and expect the exact opposite from the other and somehow expect them to comply and understand. We don’t communicate it and we expect it to be applied.
How do we expect relationships to sustain with all of these existing? Why do we assume that they are all normal and have to be there? Why do we expect the other to have enough patience and understanding to live with these? How can we still claim to love the other when we treat them in ways that their energy cannot handle?
If we truly want to sustain our relationship with the other, we need to reflect on things like these. We need to re-visit our desires and evaluate them for what they are. We need to communicate it to the other.
Punched for Valentines Day
Valentines Day is supposed to be the most romantic day of the year where lovey-dovey gifts are exchanged. But this year, something out of the ordinary happened on February 14th.
Hayden Panettiere, well known actress of several movies and TV shows such as Scream 4, was punched by her boyfriend Brian Hickerson on the face. WHAT?
Brian was arrested and charged with assault at 2:30 am on Valentines Day. According to the press, Brian brutally struck Hayden on the right side of her face. When Brian was asked about what happened at the scene of the incident, he bitterly refused to answer questions. This is definitely not going to help his alibi!
A 911 call was made claiming that an intoxicated man is causing a scene, and with that said, the police rushed to the given address. When there, they witnessed Brian waiting outside Hayden’s door while Hayden was safely hiding inside her house.
Archived documents state that Hayden locked Brian out of a private home the couple had been staying at on Valentine’s Day. What’s quite ironic is that Brian is accusing Hayden for beating him up. Reports show quite the opposite. When Hayden was searched for injuries, her face had been swollen and a few cuts and bruises were scattered on her face and hand. With that statement, I think it’s obvious who attacked who.
According to documents, when Brian was asked by police if he punched Hayden, his “demeanor immediately changed and he avoided the question.” Brian also told police that nothing happened between the two of them.
The couple had hired a private chef for $700 meaning that he was there at the scene of the incident. When the Chef was asked about what had gone about throughout the day, he stated that the couple had been arguing the entire night.
Brian was charged with assault, alleged domestic beating, and even interference for failing to cooperate with the police.
Due to this incident, for Brian to be able to leave jail, he was asked to promise not to drink alcohol as well as submit to a search warrant and seizure of his vehicle if he were to break his oath. He was also asked to avoid all contact with Hayden whether it be phone calls, social media, or any other way.
This isn’t the first time Hayden and Brian get into a feisty argument. Back in 2019, it was claimed that Brian had previously assaulted her as well but Hayden didn’t want to press charges for the sake of what they have.
The couple has been dating around the time span of a year and a half, but I guess this is the end of the road for them. Women have the absolute right to break things off with a man, especially if that man is abusive. On the other hand, we do hope that Hayden is coping well with the break up!
6 Signs You’re Spending Valentine’s With the Right One
Valentine’s day is a couple of days away and you certainly can’t wait to celebrate love with your partner, but with all the fuzz happening around and with so many teddy bears, hearts and chocolates flooding the streets, we want to make sure that you’re not settling for just anyone for the sake of a day! It is the perfect time of the year to start questioning everything…
Do you question your relationship a lot? Do you ask yourself if you have truly made the right decision? Do you really believe that your valentine this year is your forever valentine?
Well, the below signs can help you make up your mind, you just gotta be honest with yourself!
You’re so comfortable with one another
You find comfort in each other’s presence and you enjoy even the awkward silence and I’m not just talking about reaching that stage where you can burp in front of each other! I’m talking about real comfort, the one that makes you forget all about the troubles of your day and the kind of safety you feel when you’re in each other’s warm embrace.
You want to choke them most of the time but you love them anyway
Do you sometimes if not always imagine choking your partner amidst an argument? I mean as guilty as it may sounds, we sometimes feel so much anger especially when our loved one is being extra clueless in a fight! But then do you instantly feel like kissing them as they yell? Well, they’re these kind of mixed up feelings that make your relationship worth it!
After all, relationships are about fighting off hardships along the way, you just have to choose the right person to conquer the battle with you and the one worthy fighting for.
They see your imperfections perfect
While everybody else pinpoints your flaws, your partner seems to fall in love with each one. They say love is blind and as cliche as it sounds, it truly us! When you love someone so much, you are blinded of their flaws, their past mistakes and their weird traits and all you see is the perfect person you have created in your imagination.
They’re weak for you and in front of you
They’re not ashamed to show their vulnerability in front of you but in the contrary, they can’t wait to see and let you in on all the things that are causing them pain.
You make a great CATT team
You can make fun of your partner, even bully them but if anyone else dares and upsets them, it’s you and them against the whole world! From making a great team in charades to being experts in dealing with your arguments and fights that you’re not afraid of dealing with.
You didn’t need this article to verify your feelings!
Even though you read the article, you never felt you needed this kind of verification to know that your relationship is exceptional. With all the signs the world might tell us, the only verification we need is our gut feeling that tells us when it’s right and when it’s time to run.
Valentine’s Gift Ideas For her
The lucky lady in your life deserves to be spoiled on Valentine’s day, and on everyday basically but for now, let us start with February the 14th! You might be dreading scrolling down and checking the expensive gifts listed but don’t worry, we have got you covered by including a number of inexpensive gifts, so you practically have zero excuse!
Browse the following thoughtful and lovely gifts and try to imagine the look on your girlfriend’s face as she opens the gift! We have listed something for every girl type, so just browse for your girl’s personality and you will find the perfect gift for her.
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New arrival Silver Floral Heart Locket Necklace Heart locket hangs from the chain of your choice. Made to order at any length. Perfect everyday necklace. Locket opens allowing you to keep a note, affirmation or small item inside as a symbol of wishes and dreams or a photo of someone special. This locket is perfect for using as a keepsake necklace. It fits 2 photos on either side when you open it up! It would also make a great bridesmaid gift! Details: Stainless steel Heart pendant measures 29×28.5mm & sterling silver 925 chain All items are made to order. we usually make the item the same day you order and gets delivered 1-4 business days. Don't hesitate to message us for any other questions. Gift box included 🎁 Available for 225 EGP
A necklace with a photo of the people she loves so that she can always keep’em close to her heart!
Or maybe a necklace that says ‘you are my world.’
A Laptop bag
If she’s the hardworking type who is always on the run between meetings and her laptop is her constant companion, then a laptop bag is a very ideal and practical choice for a gift.
You have above an elegant style, and below is for your hip girl!
A girl can never have enough makeup so if you’re looking for a safe option, this is it! Go for the basic ones, mascara, lipsticks, lip gloss or powder.
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Shams Ra earrings Sterling silver 18 k good plated handcrafted in Greece. gold #ancient #jeweller #art #design #details #cool # fashion #accessories #history #amulet #ancientegypt #stunning #details #luxury #pharaonic jewelry #pharaonic designs #earrings #goldearrings #silvereartings #uniqueearrings #cuffs #culture #art #saharzaghlouldesigns
If your girlfriend is all about making statements and standing out in a crowd, then a unique jewelry piece is the perfect choice for her!
If your girlfriend is the organized type who’s crazy insane about planning every small detail of her busy life, then this the right gift for her!
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#Nefertari offers its unique honey and milk soap🥛 that is considered the first step in the daily dry skin routine.An age-old combination for softening the skin. Honey is characterized by its moisturizing effects that wipe away the dryness and leave the skin gentle and soft. Milk, on the other hand, nourishes the skin with its fat and vitamins contents For dry skin. Available in all #Nefertari branches for 55 EGP 250 gm.😘 #نفرتاري بتقدملك صابون اللبن و العسل🍯 الفريدة من نوعها. فمن اول الخطوات في الروتين اليومي للبشرة الجافة هي صابونة اللبن و العسل. فهي مزيج قديم معروف من ايام قدماء المصريين لتنعيم البشرة. يتميز العسل بقدرته علي ترطيب البشرة اللي بيزيل اي اثرجفاف وتترك البشرة ناعمة وطرية. الحليب ، من ناحية أخرى ، يغذي الجلد بمحتوياته من الدهون والفيتامينات الهامة و خصوصا للبشرة الجافة. متوفرة في جميع فروع #نفرتاري بسعر 55 جنية 250 جم.
Do you keep hearing about endless talk about her skin and hair care routines? If she’s that type of girl, then you should definitely get her some skin care essentials!
Nefertari is your go to especially if you have zero information about these things which of course you don’t,because the store can will help you out.
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Me before you is amovie we all watched and liked, would you like to know the rest of the story ? What will Louisa Clark do after Will ! She arrives in New York ready to start a new life, confident that she can embrace this new adventure and keep her relationship with Ambulance Sam alive and ….. " 🤔 Looking for a romantic, crying, funny and fun series at the same time ! Here you are me before you trilogy ✨
If she’s a reader and books are her getaway, then get her next favorite book!
There are of course more basic gifts ideas such as bags, shoes and clothes, then there are other gifts that are all about spoiling your girl like booking her a spa day or taking her out to a fancy dinner! Either way, the real gift any girl could wish for is that you show her love and appreciation not just this day but everyday.
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