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The Romantic Notion: Time To Let Go of Romanticism

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Romance. Romantic love. How beautiful are these notions? I have already spoken about what is labeled as “romantic love” on more than one occasion. But this time I shall escalate it and speak about love for what it really is or should be. This time, I shall demonstrate that this notion that we all love, and desperately wish to have and to experience, is faulty, and does more wrong than it does us any good. I shall show that we all have been tricked by this romanticism into believing that something such s romantic love exists, when it really doesn’t–at least not in the sense it is portrayed.

So what is romantic love? Surely we all know it. It’s that thing that happens when two people fall in love with one another. Well, it could be wise to  know first that this notion hasn’t been here forever. It’s fairly recent, and brought to us with the blessings of poets and artists of the 18th century. Before that, unions and marriages were not based on a falling in love. Before that, unions and marriages were not based on falling in love. Unions before the 18th century were based on specific economic and social advantages. A man had a big farm and a woman had a number of sheep, so they would decide to form a union and get married.

Then Romanticism came along and promised us something different. Romanticism said hey: “you don’t have to think rationally about marriage anymore. Listen to your heart, to your feelings.” Romanticism tells us we will find someone, we will have a special feeling, we will fall in love, and it’ll be forever.

We all think this is exciting. We all patiently await this. We are deeply convinced by it, and we don’t doubt it for one minute.

Romanticism says we all have soulmates. There is exactly that one person (the soulmate) who is meant to be with exactly one person, and when it happens everything will be complete, and it’ll be forever, and eternity, and sunsets and beautiful days are what lies ahead.

But hey, what is wrong with this notion? This notion that we see in movies, hear in music, and real in novels. The answer is everything. But I will mention only two points which are very prevalent and fundamentally in romantic love.

Romanticism says that you will find our soulmate, and that person will love you for who you are. Wrong. That person fights with you exactly because he/she is beginning to use who you really are. Someone once said that the people who ov us end up leaving for the same reasons that brought them to us in the first place. Because who you really are is crazy. It’s insane and sometimes bad. Romanticism further says that we should show our partner the whole of us, the complete us. But no one really wants to see that. Certainly not the soulmate.”

The other thing romanticism urges is that when we are hurt we shouldn’t have to tell the person we love. Because he/she should already know how we feel. He/she loves us, so we keep silent, or we slam the door.

But why should we expect anybody at all to know how we feel without telling them how we feel? This is crazy. When someone is hurt, it’s not like a broken arm. The mere sight of an arm cast implies an injury in the body, but what about an injury in the soul? How are we to see that? How are we to fix that. The answer is: communication.

We should abandon the idea of fully exposing oneself to the other. If you expose yourself fully, then you show your partner how ugly you truly are. How dysfunctional and intolerant you are. Nobody wants to see that. You should never wait for the beloved to know or notice that you’re hurt. He/she is not a psychic, nor is it his/her job to be one. Communicate. Articulate your feelings. Show your partner that behind all that confidence and serious gaze there exists a baby who just wants a hug.

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Punched for Valentines Day

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Hayden and Brian

Valentines Day is supposed to be the most romantic day of the year where lovey-dovey gifts are exchanged. But this year, something out of the ordinary happened on February 14th.

Hayden Panettiere, well known actress of several movies and TV shows such as Scream 4, was punched by her boyfriend Brian Hickerson on the face. WHAT?

Brian was arrested and charged with assault at 2:30 am on Valentines Day. According to the press, Brian brutally struck Hayden on the right side of her face. When Brian was asked about what happened at the scene of the incident, he bitterly refused to answer questions. This is definitely not going to help his alibi!

A 911 call was made claiming that an intoxicated man is causing a scene, and with that said, the police rushed to the given address. When there, they witnessed Brian waiting outside Hayden’s door while Hayden was safely hiding inside her house.

Archived documents state that Hayden locked Brian out of a private home the couple had been staying at on Valentine’s Day. What’s quite ironic is that Brian is accusing Hayden for beating him up. Reports show quite the opposite. When Hayden was searched for injuries, her face had been swollen and a few cuts and bruises were scattered on her face and hand. With that statement, I think it’s obvious who attacked who.

According to documents, when Brian was asked by police if he punched Hayden, his “demeanor immediately changed and he avoided the question.” Brian also told police that nothing happened between the two of them.

The couple had hired a private chef for $700 meaning that he was there at the scene of the incident. When the Chef was asked about what had gone about throughout the day, he stated that the couple had been arguing the entire night. 

Brian was charged with assault, alleged domestic beating, and even interference for failing to cooperate with the police.

Brian Hickerson mug shot

Due to this incident, for Brian to be able to leave jail, he was asked to promise not to drink alcohol as well as submit to a search warrant and seizure of his vehicle if he were to break his oath. He was also asked to avoid all contact with Hayden whether it be phone calls, social media, or any other way.

This isn’t the first time Hayden and Brian get into a feisty argument. Back in 2019, it was claimed that Brian had previously assaulted her as well but Hayden didn’t want to press charges for the sake of what they have.

The couple has been dating around the time span of a year and a half, but I guess this is the end of the road for them. Women have the absolute right to break things off with a man, especially if that man is abusive. On the other hand, we do hope that Hayden is coping well with the break up!

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6 Signs You’re Spending Valentine’s With the Right One

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Valentine’s day is a couple of days away and you certainly can’t wait to celebrate love with your partner, but with all the fuzz happening around and with so many teddy bears, hearts and chocolates flooding the streets, we want to make sure that you’re not settling for just anyone for the sake of a day! It is the perfect time of the year to start questioning everything…

Do you question your relationship a lot? Do you ask yourself if you have truly made the right decision? Do you really believe that your valentine this year is your forever valentine?

Well, the below signs can help you make up your mind, you just gotta be honest with yourself!

You’re so comfortable with one another

You find comfort in each other’s presence and you enjoy even the awkward silence and I’m not just talking about reaching that stage where you can burp in front of each other! I’m talking about real comfort, the one that makes you forget all about the troubles of your day and the kind of safety you feel when you’re in each other’s warm embrace.

You want to choke them most of the time but you love them anyway

Do you sometimes if not always imagine choking your partner amidst an argument? I mean as guilty as it may sounds, we sometimes feel so much anger especially when our loved one is being extra clueless in a fight! But then do you instantly feel like kissing them as they yell? Well, they’re these kind of mixed up feelings that make your relationship worth it!

After all, relationships are about fighting off hardships along the way, you just have to choose the right person to conquer the battle with you and the one worthy fighting for.

They see your imperfections perfect

While everybody else pinpoints your flaws, your partner seems to fall in love with each one. They say love is blind and as cliche as it sounds, it truly us! When you love someone so much, you are blinded of their flaws, their past mistakes and their weird traits and all you see is the perfect person you have created in your imagination.

They’re weak for you and in front of you

They’re not ashamed to show their vulnerability in front of you but in the contrary, they can’t wait to see and let you in on all the things that are causing them pain.

You make a great CATT team

You can make fun of your partner, even bully them but if anyone else dares and upsets them, it’s you and them against the whole world! From making a great team in charades to being experts in dealing with your arguments and fights that you’re not afraid of dealing with.

You didn’t need this article to verify your feelings!

Even though you read the article, you never felt you needed this kind of verification to know that your relationship is exceptional. With all the signs the world might tell us, the only verification we need is our gut feeling that tells us when it’s right and when it’s time to run.

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Valentine’s Gift Ideas For her

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The lucky lady in your life deserves to be spoiled on Valentine’s day, and on everyday basically but for now, let us start with February the 14th! You might be dreading scrolling down and checking the expensive gifts listed but don’t worry, we have got you covered by including a number of inexpensive gifts, so you practically have zero excuse!

Browse the following thoughtful and lovely gifts and try to imagine the look on your girlfriend’s face as she opens the gift! We have listed something for every girl type, so just browse for your girl’s personality and you will find the perfect gift for her.

Something Sentimental

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New arrival Silver Floral Heart Locket Necklace Heart locket hangs from the chain of your choice. Made to order at any length. Perfect everyday necklace. Locket opens allowing you to keep a note, affirmation or small item inside as a symbol of wishes and dreams or a photo of someone special. This locket is perfect for using as a keepsake necklace. It fits 2 photos on either side when you open it up! It would also make a great bridesmaid gift! Details: Stainless steel Heart pendant measures 29×28.5mm & sterling silver 925 chain All items are made to order. we usually make the item the same day you order and gets delivered 1-4 business days. Don't hesitate to message us for any other questions. Gift box included 🎁 Available for 225 EGP

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A necklace with a photo of the people she loves so that she can always keep’em close to her heart!

Or maybe a necklace that says ‘you are my world.’

A Laptop bag

If she’s the hardworking type who is always on the run between meetings and her laptop is her constant companion, then a laptop bag is a very ideal and practical choice for a gift.

You have above an elegant style, and below is for your hip girl!

https://www.instagram.com/p/B8Bz9K2pLSg/

Makeup

 

A girl can never have enough makeup so if you’re looking for a safe option, this is it! Go for the basic ones, mascara, lipsticks, lip gloss or powder.

Something Unique

If your girlfriend is all about making statements and standing out in a crowd, then a unique jewelry piece is the perfect choice for her!

A Planner

https://www.instagram.com/p/B8OtvA_BnQM/

If your girlfriend is the organized type who’s crazy insane about planning every small detail of her busy life, then this the right gift for her!

Skin essentials

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#Nefertari offers its unique honey and milk soap🥛 that is considered the first step in the daily dry skin routine.An age-old combination for softening the skin. Honey is characterized by its moisturizing effects that wipe away the dryness and leave the skin gentle and soft. Milk, on the other hand, nourishes the skin with its fat and vitamins contents For dry skin. Available in all #Nefertari branches for 55 EGP 250 gm.😘 #نفرتاري بتقدملك صابون اللبن و العسل🍯 الفريدة من نوعها. فمن اول الخطوات في الروتين اليومي للبشرة الجافة هي صابونة اللبن و العسل. فهي مزيج قديم معروف من ايام قدماء المصريين لتنعيم البشرة. يتميز العسل بقدرته علي ترطيب البشرة اللي بيزيل اي اثرجفاف وتترك البشرة ناعمة وطرية. الحليب ، من ناحية أخرى ، يغذي الجلد بمحتوياته من الدهون والفيتامينات الهامة و خصوصا للبشرة الجافة. متوفرة في جميع فروع #نفرتاري بسعر 55 جنية 250 جم.

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Do you keep hearing about endless talk about her skin and hair care routines? If she’s that type of girl, then you should definitely get her some skin care essentials!

Nefertari is your go to especially if you have zero information about these things which of course you don’t,because the store can will help you out.

Books

If she’s a reader and books are her getaway, then get her next favorite book!

There are of course more basic gifts ideas such as bags, shoes and clothes, then there are other gifts that are all about spoiling your girl like booking her a spa day or taking her out to a fancy dinner! Either way, the real gift any girl could wish for is that you show her love and appreciation not just this day but everyday.

 

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