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Reasons to not bend and change in order to fit in

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While everybody’s fear is not fitting in with the rest, mine is to unconsciously become a replica of what everyone else is. We’re slowly becoming copies of each others; we unknowingly give in to what society views as the norm, and we give up on habits that we believe don’t match those norms, the box that society created with labels attached to its every corner has imprisoned us and we failed to realize that this box only exist in our minds. It is human nature to try and conform with society but to an extent, and then it becomes blind conformity that leads to the loss of our identity. The following are theories of why you shouldn’t conform to the rest.

1. It’s all in our heads, perfection is a myth.

Who decided that the most popular in school should be that cool kid who ditches classes and bully others? Us. And who decided that the one with a book in hand is a nerd? Also us. We created the labels, we weren’t born with the categorizations, you’re both students but with different interests, that’s all.

Start your own labels, find those who fit to your own category. Instead of bending and changing to satisfy a category that’s not yours.

2. Therefore the social risk, also a myth!

Social risk is the fear of not fitting in society, but then again we’re those who created the labeling and the ideals of what makes one a true fit or not, and thus we’re also able to change those labeling or better yet end them.

3. Different is good, similar is also good.

I’m not here to say that standing out feels special because not everyone has the uniqueness to stand out, adapting to an environment is no shame. Losing yourself in the process is what’s wrong. The fear of not belonging is common and natural but once you get to the point of accepting those differences, you’ll come to love who you are.

4. You choose your influencers!

Conforming with someone with a more social influence is another psychological act, one that many does unknowingly, we watch how influencers dress and we mimic their style believing that this way, we’re more likely to fit in. But then again, all those followers and all those likes, who made them? Us. Then why do we try so hard to follow someone else’s lead instead of creating our own?

5. There are no minority and majority, only different sets of minds.

The sense of belonging to the majority gives us satisfaction and boosts our self-esteem, whilst being with the minority boosts our insecurities, then again who decided that differences in opinions should divide us to groups? Also us. Then why can’t we accept that there is no us VS them? Only different sets of minds with different views, opinions and values.

Bottom line is, if you ever feel the need to change your behavior, do it with the conviction that this a way for you to become a better version of yourself, to evolve not to change, to never letting go of your true essence; because day by day you’ll start losing bits of who you are until there’s nothing left of you to be fixed.

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Grey’s Anatomy: The Valuable Life Lessons of the Show

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The doctors of Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital are up for more shifts, as ABC announced the renewal of Grey’s Anatomy for two more seasons, which means the show will run for at least through its 17th season!

This makes the show the longest running medical drama of all time.

The TV series is certainly one of the best dramas to follow, not only is it entertaining, but the issues tackled in the episodes from racism to sexism and violence, are what make the show a high rated one.

Now, if you aren’t into Grey’s Anatomy, here are the life lessons that I, personally, learned from the show. Ones that will get you encouraged to watch the series, and if you’re a fan already, then you will cherish the following:

1- You are the sun, and no one should steal your shine.

It doesn’t matter how much you love someone, you should always set your priorities straight. Don’t let anyone’s wants eclipse your dreams, because you are the sun and you make your own needs come true.

2- No one will ever love you as much as your parents.

The people who raised you will always have the most love for you. And even if your relationship with one of them is unstable, find it in your heart to forgive them.

3- If you love someone, tell them, no matter what.

I’ll just leave Mark Sloan’s quote in here, “If you love someone, you tell them. Even if you’re scared that it’s not the right thing. Even if you’re scared that it’ll cause problems. Even if you’re scared that it will burn your life to the ground, you say it, and you say it loud and you go from there. ”

4- It’s okay to be dark and twisty at times.

Meredith Grey taught us that it’s okay to have dark thoughts at times, to feel vulnerable and weak. It doesn’t matter if you have someone by your side, to always grab you when you are at your lowest. To remind you of the things in you, that are worthy of love. The relationship between Meredith and Derek, is quite the example for two people loving each other unconditionally, despite one’s flaws.

5- You fight for the one you love.

Even when it’s against all odds, and against all the expectations. If you love someone, you fight for them. It may seem like the impossible, but you have got to show them that you care and that no burden, no matter how huge, can stand in your way. Again, look at Meredith and Derek and how they fought for each other across the years.

6- No running from relationships.

For that, I will leave the vows that Meredith and Derek promised each other, on their post it marriage. And remember, love each other even when you hate each other.

7. Sometimes, horrible people deserve forgiveness.

You always have to think of one’s actions from their place, no one is born obnoxious. I believe it is an acquired attitude from the things they have been through in life. If those people are met with compassion, they can change. Just look at Alex Karev, and how love and friendship changed his personality entirely.

The life lessons are countless, and the issues that the show discusses will leave you stunned. My advice is to binge watch the show, that will certainly change your perspective on A LOT.

 

 

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When it is You Who Sometimes Hold Yourself Back

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How does one hold their own self back? simple, you overthink, you over-analyze and you doubt yourself. You doubt it so hard that it starts to listen to you, and I for one, am a victim of my own self.

It started a long while ago, but the effects of it wasn’t that apparent. It wasn’t until I started working that I have realized what my own mind is doing to me.

When I was in college, I doubted my capabilities, and never thought that I was smart enough to do better. Always considered myself, as a regular. A regular student, and a regular person. And that caused me to fail behind, big time.

Now that I graduated and working, the doubts are more, even if I get praised for work, I still consider my work as ‘not enough’. And that is causing me to breakdown every once in a while. I overthink every detail, and now it’s not only affecting my work, but also my relationships with the ones I love dearly.

It is all in my head, I now know that quite well, the trick though, is not only to recognize this, but to fight it!

Fight the thoughts in your head that tell you ‘you’re incapable’, fight them with all your might and find the strength to think positively and highly about yourself.

One thing I also started doing, and is helping me a lot, is keeping an agenda with me everyday, documenting all the things that I have done; thus keeping track of my performance.

I remind myself everyday that I’m smarter than I think, and I am doing better than I believe.

Overthinking isn’t only holding you back, but it is also causing a mental toll that you are too young to bear. Learning to refute it is the key, also having someone supportive to remind you what a good person you are, is important.

It is that kind of support and encouragement that got me through senior year, and is helping me excel at work despite my dark thoughts.

I pray everyday for my mind to go easy on me, and I certainly wish the same for all the troubles minds out-there…

 

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On love, Conditions, Obstacles and Irrationality

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Do we fall instantly in love? No, because that wouldn’t be real, we can get a crush on someone and by time, that crush develops. But can we stop it? That click you get at the sight of that one person, is it stoppable?

I believe not. Because once you click, there’s no going back.

Let me count with you the many clicks that happen in reaction to that person’s most little actions, they laugh, click. They smile, click. They blush, click. The tease you, click. They make you laugh, click, click. They make you cry, cl..ick, click. They mess with their hair, click. They mess with yours, click.

Let me put some math in there to make this article sounds smart, the amount of clicks you get per day is directly proportional to the time you’ll fall in love, in other words, the more the clicks are, the faster you’ll fall in love.

This is love, and below are the conditions:

Girl code

You’re not to click with your best friend’s ex, because this is the rule, you can’t fall in love with your friend’s ex, but what if that one person is the one you’re meant to be with, what if that person brings you happiness and ultimate joy, peace and serenity, what if that person is the one? And you never got to find out because girl code. Guess you just have to deal with it, right?

Your ex

They said your ex had become an ex for a reason, true, what if it was bad timing? What if it was immaturity? What if now is a good time and we’re mature? Guess you won’t find out because ‘integrity’ and ‘dignity’ shall stop you.

Your complete opposite

That person that everyone tells you is not right for you, who’s different in almost everything and does things the opposite way, you fight a lot and people speak about how you two could never end up together and you start believing them, after all it’s what everyone says, except for your heart who thinks the complete opposite. But who listens to their heart anymore?

The irrationality is in clicking with someone from the first place and you know isn’t just right, clicking with someone who goes against the rules, how could you allow your heart to sink so deep? How did you allow your mind to drift to places to where that person is? How can you stop loving someone when all what you do is think of him? Why think of him? How could you?

Silly, isn’t it? To ask someone to stop clicking, to set boundaries to the one thing in life that happens spontaneously, the one thing that has the power to get you off your feet and up in the air, but then comes these boundaries and get hold of your feet, and bring you down to your knees. Because conditions, because rationality.

 

 

 

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