Trust is a thing that’s hard to earn yet easy to break. It’s fragile. It’s a leap of faith. It’s a terrifying thing to allow yourself to be vulnerable and open up to someone else. For one thing, what if they don’t like what they see when you tear down all those walls you put up and show them your raw personality? That, I would say, is one of the most terrifying things when it comes to love.
Most of us have at least gone through disappointment or betrayal in love at some point in our lives. And we’ve all experienced how heartbreaking it is to trust again whoever wronged us. In itself, trust is not an easy task, but if you also suffer from pistanthrophobia, it can be almost impossible.
Pistanthrophobia is characterized by an irrational fear of building an intimate and personal relationship with others. Past hurtful stories or harmful experiences carry so much weight that fear overcomes the desire to trust others.
It’s like you’re carrying the weight of the person on your shoulder, not knowing what to do.
People with this condition begin to feel as if everyone sooner or later will disappoint or betray them. They become extremely distrustful and terrified. They’re afraid of the idea that past harms may be repeated and they don’t want to let that happen.
“I’ll never be happy, again.” “Why do people keep hurting me? What have I ever done to deserve this?” “It’s all my fault.” These are some of the billions of sentences you’ll hear from those who are afraid giving their precious trust to anybody.
Trust is exactly like a paper. When you crumble it, it doesn’t go back completely straightened afterwards, it leaves lines — that we call scars in life.
Trust is not free and it’s something you either have or don’t have: there’s no in-between. It grows out of months and years of shared relationships and experiences. We know it takes a long time to earn trust, but very little to lose it. However, they also say that the last thing we lose is hope and that time heals all wounds.
Their self-suggestions lead them to become antisocial and isolationist. Some of these behaviors are:
•Avoiding activities that involve close interpersonal contact.
•Becoming withdrawn because they fear criticism. There’s an exaggerated fear of being judged, rejected, or betrayed.
•Not attending events or meetings in which they have to meet with strangers they don’t know if they will like.
•Not taking any risks that could endanger their emotions. They are very reluctant to engage with other people. They feel dread when it comes to opening up to others.
•Trying to avoid intimate relationships due to their fear of being disappointed again. They don’t want to find a relationship again because of their panic that their trust will be misplaced again.
Normally, difficulty in trusting others starts with a distrust in oneself. This distrust directly affects the intuition or sixth sense that dictates whether a person is trustworthy or not.
building relationships becomes a very difficult task. It’s like trying to climb a very high mountain when we have vertigo. The fear of falling increases with each step we take, until we feel we’re no longer even moving forward.
That’s why many people with pistanthrophobia cut off relationships abruptly. They can no longer continue climbing, deepening the relationship.
Pistanthrophobia is actually a serious phobia affecting your relationships with others.
To cut things short, pistanthrophobia is the fear of trusting someone. If you just had a flashback to all your failed relationships, I’m sorry, but it had to be done. We’ll get through this together. Messy breakups either with friends or partners, don’t just leave us with a nauseated feeling in our stomachs every time we hear our ex friend/partner’s name, but they also leave us traumatized, paranoid of getting hurt by others and fearing our next relationship/friendship.
You may think you’re completely over your ex partner/best friend. If you’re sitting in a corner, shaking yourself to bed, I’m afraid to say that you may want to think otherwise.
Trust won’t come back overnight, neither in oneself nor in others. Therefore, to overcome pistanthrophobia, it’s important to get help. Psychologists can help us recover from our emotional wounds. By attacking the cause, we will likely solve the problem.
So, how do you know if you have pistanthrophobia? And if you do have it, how do you overcome this fear? Well, fear not, The What’s Up Cairo Team are here to help. Here’s all you need to know to get you living pistanthrophobia-free.
- You stalk them so much on social media that you become their biggest secret fan: It’s definitely not because you’re in every picture they’ve posted. You constantly want to know what their doing, who they’re with and who’s commenting. Of course, if a hot girl/guy is commenting on your boy/girlfriend’s photo, you get a little curious, maybe even jealous. But your need to constantly know what they’re doing both in real and virtual life is a clear sign you don’t trust your partner. You have to understand that you are not in control of their actions and have to be able to trust that they will make the right choices. If you lack the trust in your partner, they wouldn’t feel comfortable at all.
- You want to snoop around on their phone: Have you figured out what’s the password on their phone yet? Okay, well, we all have some curiosity to creep on someone we like when they’re texting or checking Facebook, Instagram or any other social media app. However, going through their phone is completely different. Let’s get this one out of the way, shall we? Do they actually acknowledge the fact that you’re sniffing around in their phone? If not, then this is a pretty clear sign you have some major trust issues. Sure, if they’re not doing anything wrong, they wouldn’t have a reason to not let you look through their phone. However, there’s something called privacy, and everyone is entitled to it. So before anxiously typing in their password and scanning their texts, think twice.
- Learning a good grieving process is vital if we want to trust again. For this, we need to accept the pain we feel and not run from our feelings. Neither should we minimize the problem or look the other way.
- It takes time and rest. Your emotions have to stabilize, so it’s not a good idea to start a new relationship. You’re probably not ready to trust anyone again without past traumas reappearing.
- You always think of the worst case scenario: Are you already assuming that they’re cheating on you and you don’t quite know each other that well? They had to stay late at work and you assume they’re having an affair? Calm the hell down. Unless the signs are clear that they’re doing something unfaithful, you cannot jump to conclusions and assume the worst thing possible. When you enter a relationship with a negative mindset, that’s a clear indicator you have trust issues.
- Practice everyday situations that require trust. For example, delegate some things to your partner so your trust gradually increases. Do joint activities to naturalize the disorder. Trusting another person, besides being a real challenge, is also a vital necessity. The trust we have in those close to us has multiple benefits. Among them, it increases our happiness and self-confidence, allowing us to face our problems better and with less stress. It’s definitely worth the effort.
- You ask them too many questions and put them through tests: I’d actually blame fairytales for this one; we’re shown we constantly have to test our partner to make sure that they really care about us. They have to chase after us in the pouring rain or make them choose their friends over us. You know what will happen, right?Eventually, they’ll reach their limits of being tested. Listen, when you go into a relationship, you have to trust that they like you. And then after that, you let it take its course.
How to get over Pistanthrophobia, you ask? Here is how can you help yourself in overcoming your fear of trusting someone.
- Tell them: If you have Pistanthrophobia, then your partner has to know. The number one thing that keeps any relationship strong is communication and you have to talk to them about that. They’ll definitely reassure you that everything is fine. If this person really does care about you, then they’ll be patient and accepting. You guys are a team after all.
- Change your mindset: This is a hard one to do, but it’ll be worth it. What happens, happens. You have to let things take their course. If someone is going to cheat on you, they’re going to cheat on you. You cannot control other people’s actions. You can control yours. What is meant to be, it’ll be and you have nothing to do about it.
- Block/remove your partner from social media: It’ll take your mind of them a bit and by time, you’ll get used to it, you’ll feel less clingy. So, if you’re finding it hard to not creep their profiles every day—delete them. I know it’s pretty hard. You feel you’re not included in their lives; however, this is simply your insecurities and need for control. Delete them off of everything or unfollow them. It’ll take a couple days, but you’ll see how much better you’ll feel without obsessing over them—virtually and knowing every little tiny detail about them. Give yourself and them a break.
- Seek Therapy: If you suffer from pistanthrophobia, consider seeking a counselor. I know most people decide against heading to a therapy; they think they’re weak and cannot handle their own problems. However, that’s not the issue. It’s always easier getting an opinion from a third party who knows nothing about you. Plus, you get to talk to someone who’s unbiased and nonjudgemental. They’ll be able to root the problem and give you different solutions every single time you need a different solution. They’re always there when you need them and they’ll help you overcome it. I mean, even therapists go to therapists and you should never worry about what others think of you. You should do what’s best for you.
Don’t waste your precious time glued to your phone, creeping on your partner on every single social media account they have. Life is to be lived! Though pistanthrophobia adds a lot of pressure and strain on a relationship, you can overcome it. And you will!
EL KING MOHAMED MOUNIR EL EKHTEYAR 2
A ripple coursed through the hearts of Egyptians as we all watched Al Ekhteyar 2 while the emotionally moving ‘Dhalin’ by the King Mohamed Mounir played. A piece mourning the brave ‘Oasis martyrs’ who lost their lives in service to their homeland. Captivating the emotions of millions across the country, capturing their feelings of regret and sorrow and transforming it into a song manifesting the pride and resilience of a nation.
Mounir drew upon the talents of those he knew would be necessary to bring justice to the piece’s subject matter. The captivating song that brought the king to tears during the recording, is a product of favorite poet Nasr El Din Nagy, the artist behind the moving lyrics and was composed and arranged by the remarkable Ahmed Farhat.
Delivering a piece that the King intended to remind us of the strength and spirit Egyptians present in the face of adversity. Exemplified by the Egyptian army’s heroism in the fight against terrorism. Mounir’s words echo the chant within the hearts of all our countrymen, “Glory to the martyrs and long live Egypt.”.
AL AASELA ABDELRAHMAN ROSHDY
Step in. We invite you to uncover the truth and discover the answers with the guidance of enchanter Abdelrahman Roshdy. Riding on the spiritual winds, Roshdy brings a fresh new energy to the music scene as we know it. His debut album ‘El Aasela’, having been in the works for the past two and a half years, poses several fundamental questions we all ask ourselves with the album title song, ‘El Aasela’ proceeds to address every question posed in it with each following song in the album. Abdelrahman’s inclination to experiment with different musical and lyrical styles had him refining its direction and adding the soul to the music. There was a high level of planning required to assemble the different elements of the album, considering this was going to be a visual album. Desiring to deliver a message with this album that will truly leave an impact on the listener, he worked closely with lyricist Nour Abdallah to ensure that every song once complete would pluck at the listener’s heartstrings. Creating tracks that addressed concepts such as love, society, faith and existence with questions that we could all relate to having asked regardless of race, gender or class.
His passion for music and for sending his powerful messages out there had him composing most of the album which has become another addition to his experience in music composition, having previously composed the GFF 2020 official anthem ‘Dokki Ya Mazzika’ featuring superstar Ramy Ayach. He saw the chance for ‘El Aasela’ to be refined with the diligent approach and technical expertise that would come from collaborating with Moataz Mady who found a harmony in working on and producing the album with Roshdy, adopting a style and approach to creating music that carries a cinematic or emotional tone to it. Mady found the opportunity to flex his musical talents and draw upon his previous experience with several artists in the past, creating an experience that immerses the listener, an effect Mady has been waiting to find the opportunity to implement.
Taking a unique path to break away from the norm, Abdelrahman sees this album as a jumping off point having featured three key artists on three of the album tracks. ‘Fesam’ featuring Cairokee’s front man Amir Eid composed by Sherif Mustafa and Abdelrahman Roshdy. ‘Neshky Le Meen’ featuring Ahmed Kamel, written and composed by multi-talented artist Khaled Essam, and finally ‘El Rezk’ featuring shaabi superstar Mahmoud El Lithy while star producer Mohamed Sakr added his magical touch mixing and mastering the entire album. This grand collaborative effort helped cement a new step for Roshdy, where he seized an opportunity to expand his range through experimenting with other genres and artists as he hopes to discover his range in different musical styles and genres. ‘El Aasela’ stands out as a new and unique direction in the Egyptian music scene that diverges from the superficiality of the everyday to the more timeless and profound.
The creativity and direction brought on by Cocaina studios, who shot and directed all 10 music videos, complemented by Carousel, Roshdy’s Management and Publicity team, helped cement the final key component of the album and journey. The sharp photography of Black Creative Studios, which accentuated the eye-catching costume design done by celebrity Stylist and Director Gehad Abdalla, with it being perfected by the album artworks created by Visual Artist and Director Adam Abdelghaffar, with all divergent elements brought together under the supervision and calculated hand of Carousel’s founder Daliah Galal. The combination of the audio, lyrical and visual elements came together to form a unique and profound experience. And in the words of the album producers, Gamma Music and MS Productions, who were excited to produce ‘El Aasela’ album for Roshy. “We appreciate what Abdelrahman Roshdy brings to the table and what his powerful voice can achieve and we want to open the avenues available to support new talents in the Egypt and the greater Arab market.
Ultimately aiming to create a shift towards a path that stands to reshape the minds of listeners and foster a depth and authenticity that touches the soul. Abdelrahman Roshdy is striving to lead a new wave that will revitalize the hearts of his listeners and free them from the ordinary, the superficial and the trivial. His relentless pursuit holds great promise, with his passionate and thought out approach to his music and the message it carries present the Egyptian music scene with a talented artist who is poised to expand its horizons down to the core.
El Aasela | @abdelrahmanroshdy and @moatazmady_
Album Production | @_gammamusic @msproductionme
Management and Publicity | @thecarouselworld @daliahgalal
Management team | @nohasultan95 @gihanauf
Shoot Production | @thecarouselworld
Executive Producer | @daliahgalal
Photography | @blackcreativestudios
Fashion Director | @gehadabdalla
Album Artworks | @adamaghaffar
Adonis Releases Their 5th Studio Album ‘A’DA’
Lebanese indie-pop favorites, Adonis , complete the release of their highly anticipated fifth studio album ‘A’da’ (Enemies), with part three out now across all streaming platforms.
Part one and two of the release saw the group trending across Lebanon with live stream performances of their new work to delighted fans.
The final segment of the album, introduces “Tabi’yi” , a fast-paced pop-rock anthem with hard-hitting drums and catchy guitar riffs, while “Jeet Kermalak”, a delicate ballad, showcases a traditional middle eastern instrument, the Qanun, beautifully orchestrated alongside the smooth, soothing vocals of guest singer-songwriter, Dana Hourani.
“A’da” is described by the band as a love story between two young, impressionable characters, that unravels through the album tackling themes of nostalgia and lost futures, in an elusive, sometimes cruel, present.
Speaking about the album, lead singer-songwriter Anthony Khoury shared “each part of A’da not only explores a specific time in the characters relationship – how they grew together or apart – but also represents significant times that deeply influenced our songwriting and development over the years.
We celebrate our 10th anniversary this year, so we’re really excited to share an album we feel demonstrates who we are today, and explores the experiences that have shaped us as a band in Beirut.”
Artwork stills from ‘Mouharrami” and Moukhtalef lyric videos. Illustration by Anthony Khoury, animation by Kook.
Released at the end of January, “Mouharrami” was a tone-setter for a new musical direction taken by the four musicians, with heavy 80s and 90s dance music influences weaving their way through the lively opening track.
Title track “A’da”, meanwhile, was accompanied by an intricately illustrated music video, which follows the band members as four retro video game characters, navigating through a dystopian Beirut in search of their stolen hearts.
The video was directed and illustrated by Omar Khouri, with art direction by the band’s long-time collaborator Nadim Hobeika.
Filled with downbeats of raging bass drums, shimmering guitar lines and sweeping synthesizers, this three-part album is complimented by the band’s signature Arabic lyrics, sometimes playful, sometimes poignant, and always a point of reference for their expanding fan base across the region.
“A’da” was produced by Sleiman Damien, between the months of August and November 2020, in an improvised studio in the seaside town of Batroun, where the band relocated just days after the August 4 Beirut Port explosion. “Tabi’yi” showcases a live performance music video shot in the same traditionally Lebanese setting.
During release weekend, Anthony Khoury, Adonis’ lead singer, also performed an exclusive stripped down set featuring vocals and piano as part of Embrace Lebanon’s initiative “Music for Mental Health”, where he showcased Tabi’yi as a message of hope for those struggling through unprecedented times.
The Girls Who Burned the Night is competing for three awards at the Palm Springs Festival in the United States.
Park St. Fashion Edition Concludes Four Days of Extravagance
“Committed to People, Committed to the Future” INFINIX CSR initiative during Ramadan.
EL KING MOHAMED MOUNIR EL EKHTEYAR 2
Al-Futtaim’s Cairo Festival City Hosted Misr El-Kheir’s
An Inspirational Talk with The Smile Ambassador Dr Ahmed Al Kaffas
Biota: The Safe Haven You longed for it to Reopen
Mother’s day: Home workouts for the mommies
May Yacoubi: Cooking up the perfect bond with her daughter
The captivating power of the Tunisian beauty Hend Sabry
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