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How To Know That You Have Pistanthrophobia: The Fear Of Trust? And How To Overcome It?

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Trust is a thing that’s hard to earn yet easy to break. It’s fragile. It’s a leap of faith. It’s a terrifying thing to allow yourself to be vulnerable and open up to someone else. For one thing, what if they don’t like what they see when you tear down all those walls you put up and show them your raw personality? That, I would say, is one of the most terrifying things when it comes to love.

Most of us have at least gone through disappointment or betrayal in love at some point in our lives. And we’ve all experienced how heartbreaking it is to trust again whoever wronged us. In itself, trust is not an easy task, but if you also suffer from pistanthrophobia, it can be almost impossible.

Pistanthrophobia is characterized by an irrational fear of building an intimate and personal relationship with others. Past hurtful stories or harmful experiences carry so much weight that fear overcomes the desire to trust others.

It’s like you’re carrying the weight of the person on your shoulder, not knowing what to do.

People with this condition begin to feel as if everyone sooner or later will disappoint or betray them. They become extremely distrustful and terrified. They’re afraid of the idea that past harms may be repeated and they don’t want to let that happen.

“I’ll never be happy, again.” “Why do people keep hurting me? What have I ever done to deserve this?” “It’s all my fault.” These are some of the billions of sentences you’ll hear from those who are afraid giving their precious trust to anybody.

Trust is exactly like a paper. When you crumble it, it doesn’t go back completely straightened afterwards, it leaves lines — that we call scars in life.

Trust is not free and it’s something you either have or don’t have: there’s no in-between. It grows out of months and years of shared relationships and experiences. We know it takes a long time to earn trust, but very little to lose it. However, they also say that the last thing we lose is hope and that time heals all wounds.

Their self-suggestions lead them to become antisocial and isolationist. Some of these behaviors are:

•Avoiding activities that involve close interpersonal contact.

•Becoming withdrawn because they fear criticism. There’s an exaggerated fear of being judged, rejected, or betrayed.

•Not attending events or meetings in which they have to meet with strangers they don’t know if they will like.

•Not taking any risks that could endanger their emotions. They are very reluctant to engage with other people. They feel dread when it comes to opening up to others.

•Trying to avoid intimate relationships due to their fear of being disappointed again. They don’t want to find a relationship again because of their panic that their trust will be misplaced again.

Normally, difficulty in trusting others starts with a distrust in oneself. This distrust directly affects the intuition or sixth sense that dictates whether a person is trustworthy or not.

building relationships becomes a very difficult task. It’s like trying to climb a very high mountain when we have vertigo. The fear of falling increases with each step we take, until we feel we’re no longer even moving forward.

That’s why many people with pistanthrophobia cut off relationships abruptly. They can no longer continue climbing, deepening the relationship.

Pistanthrophobia is actually a serious phobia affecting your relationships with others.

To cut things short, pistanthrophobia is the fear of trusting someone. If you just had a flashback to all your failed relationships, I’m sorry, but it had to be done. We’ll get through this together. Messy breakups either with friends or partners, don’t just leave us with a nauseated feeling in our stomachs every time we hear our ex friend/partner’s name, but they also leave us traumatized, paranoid of getting hurt by others and fearing our next relationship/friendship.

You may think you’re completely over your ex partner/best friend. If you’re sitting in a corner, shaking yourself to bed, I’m afraid to say that you may want to think otherwise.

Trust won’t come back overnight, neither in oneself nor in others. Therefore, to overcome pistanthrophobia, it’s important to get help. Psychologists can help us recover from our emotional wounds. By attacking the cause, we will likely solve the problem.

So, how do you know if you have pistanthrophobia? And if you do have it, how do you overcome this fear? Well, fear not, The What’s Up Cairo Team are here to help. Here’s all you need to know to get you living pistanthrophobia-free.

  1. You stalk them so much on social media that you become their biggest secret fan: It’s definitely not because you’re in every picture they’ve posted. You constantly want to know what their doing, who they’re with and who’s commenting.  Of course, if a hot girl/guy is commenting on your boy/girlfriend’s photo, you get a little curious, maybe even jealous. But your need to constantly know what they’re doing both in real and virtual life is a clear sign you don’t trust your partner. You have to understand that you are not in control of their actions and have to be able to trust that they will make the right choices. If you lack the trust in your partner, they wouldn’t feel comfortable at all.
  2. You want to snoop around on their phone: Have you figured out what’s the password on their phone yet? Okay, well, we all have some curiosity to creep on someone we like when they’re texting or checking Facebook, Instagram or any other social media app. However, going through their phone is completely different. Let’s get this one out of the way, shall we? Do they actually acknowledge the fact that you’re sniffing around in their phone? If not, then this is a pretty clear sign you have some major trust issues. Sure, if they’re not doing anything wrong, they wouldn’t have a reason to not let you look through their phone. However, there’s something called privacy, and everyone is entitled to it. So before anxiously typing in their password and scanning their texts, think twice.
  3. Learning a good grieving process is vital if we want to trust again. For this, we need to accept the pain we feel and not run from our feelings. Neither should we minimize the problem or look the other way.
  4. It takes time and rest. Your emotions have to stabilize, so it’s not a good idea to start a new relationship. You’re probably not ready to trust anyone again without past traumas reappearing.
  5. You always think of the worst case scenario: Are you already assuming that they’re cheating on you and you don’t quite know each other that well? They had to stay late at work and you assume they’re having an affair? Calm the hell down. Unless the signs are clear that they’re doing something unfaithful, you cannot jump to conclusions and assume the worst thing possible. When you enter a relationship with a negative mindset, that’s a clear indicator you have trust issues.
  6. Practice everyday situations that require trust. For example, delegate some things to your partner so your trust gradually increases. Do joint activities to naturalize the disorder. Trusting another person, besides being a real challenge, is also a vital necessity. The trust we have in those close to us has multiple benefits. Among them, it increases our happiness and self-confidence, allowing us to face our problems better and with less stress. It’s definitely worth the effort.
  7. You ask them too many questions and put them through tests: I’d actually blame fairytales for this one; we’re shown we constantly have to test our partner to make sure that they really care about us. They have to chase after us in the pouring rain or make them choose their friends over us. You know what will happen, right?Eventually, they’ll reach their limits of being tested. Listen, when you go into a relationship, you have to trust that they like you. And then after that, you let it take its course.

How to get over Pistanthrophobia, you ask? Here is how can you help yourself in overcoming your fear of trusting someone.

  1. Tell them: If you have Pistanthrophobia, then your partner has to know. The number one thing that keeps any relationship strong is communication and you have to talk to them about that. They’ll definitely reassure you that everything is fine. If this person really does care about you, then they’ll be patient and accepting. You guys are a team after all.
  2. Change your mindset: This is a hard one to do, but it’ll be worth it. What happens, happens. You have to let things take their course. If someone is going to cheat on you, they’re going to cheat on you. You cannot control other people’s actions. You can control yours. What is meant to be, it’ll be and you have nothing to do about it.
  3. Block/remove your partner from social media: It’ll take your mind of them a bit and by time, you’ll get used to it, you’ll feel less clingy. So, if you’re finding it hard to not creep their profiles every day—delete them. I know it’s pretty hard. You feel you’re not included in their lives; however, this is simply your insecurities and need for control. Delete them off of everything or unfollow them. It’ll take a couple days, but you’ll see how much better you’ll feel without obsessing over them—virtually and knowing every little tiny detail about them. Give yourself and them a break.
  4. Seek Therapy: If you suffer from pistanthrophobia, consider seeking a counselor. I know most people decide against heading to a therapy; they think they’re weak and cannot handle their own problems. However, that’s not the issue. It’s always easier getting an opinion from a third party who knows nothing about you. Plus, you get to talk to someone who’s unbiased and nonjudgemental. They’ll be able to root the problem and give you different solutions every single time you need a different solution. They’re always there when you need them and they’ll help you overcome it. I mean, even therapists go to therapists and you should never worry about what others think of you. You should do what’s best for you.

Don’t waste your precious time glued to your phone, creeping on your partner on every single social media account they have. Life is to be lived! Though pistanthrophobia adds a lot of pressure and strain on a relationship, you can overcome it. And you will!

Nadia Haitham, who is a sixteen year old teenager, fantasizes and creates images in people’s minds using written words. She has always admired the idea of writing ever since she was a little girl with piggy tails and somehow, she’s chasing her dream! Nadia is currently an IGCSE student in The Continental School Of Cairo and she’s in the eleventh grade. They say Nadia is too young but she asks repeatedly, “if I don’t start now, then when?!” She blows her candles on the fifteenth of July, her zodiac sign is Cancer and she’s Egyptian. In 2015, she has written her first completed book that’s called, “Love Of A Teenage Girl” which is published on a writing website called, Wattpad. She has won several awards for the book which she’s planning to publish in the future. Nadia has also written a few other books and created quotes of her own but she hasn’t completed them yet but she’s planning to. She’s into music and learning something new every single day using the help of the social media world. She believes that writing is an underestimated art, it’s exactly like painting colorful images in people’s minds by using words of black and white.

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Celebs

Rumor has it: The Jonas Brothers are Reuniting and We Can’t Wait

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Good news to all the millenniums out there, your favorite childhood brand the Jonas Brothers are getting back together, and we can feel young once again.

It’s been six years since the brothers have split up; so each of them can do his own thing, six years ago since they have devastated the hearts of many young girls and now they’re making it up for them.

The rumors first started swirling since January 2018 when the JoBros reactivated their Instagram account. Now, according to several US Weekly sources, the rumors are turning to reality. They are however, changing their name to JONAS.

Yet another confirmation came from The Sun, as they announced, “After enjoying solo music success and taking time to work on passion projects, they feel that now is the right time to get back together.”

The Sun also claims that they are heading to London to work on an upcoming project, as well as releasing a documentary soon alongside new music.

Of course, with no official statements from the band, we can’t tell for sure when this is happening but we’re keeping our fingers crossed.

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Lifestyle

A journey towards Self-Love Pt2

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A part of your journey towards self-love is to let go of things and people who cause you harm, self-doubt and insecurities. Those who hold you back, instead of pushing you further. You may think you’re in a dark place and should be in there left by yourself, but no, there are people who choose to leave you alone and then there are others who are capable of giving you a hand and pulling you out into the light.

Besides having someone to help you out, it’s you at the end, who are capable of giving yourself the love it deserves, and what follows are simple ways toward doing so:

  • Cut the toxicity out of your life.

This toxicity can be habits or people, the common thing is that both cause you damage that you should be willing to let go of and not feel sorry about it. If you got used to a certain bad habit, try to substitute it with a healthier one, or cut it down a notch.

If it’s people who are causing toxicity in your life, make boundaries or even better rid yourself of their burden, you may still be holding on to them because you have known them for years, but trust me, it’s not worth draining all of your energy. And you’ll realize that once you start to shift this wasted energy from them and towards your own self, that is when you’ll know the relief of letting go.

  • Make a day for yourself.

Take a day for yourself, learn to enjoy your own company. You can go out, have lunch by yourself, go to the movies or maybe make it a spa day. Anything that will help you relax and put your mind at ease. Or you can simply stay home, and do some self-care routines that you surely have been ignoring.

And never feel guilty for taking some time off away from your friends; because this is simply you putting yourself on top of your priority list and it’s nothing to feel sorry for.

  • Keep those who understand you closer.

Stick to those people during your journey, those who understand and value your worth, and sees you for who you really are. They will see things in you, that you’re yet to discover about yourself. They will help you find them and it’s an essential part of your journey, as it is crucial to be surrounded with people who remind you constantly of your worth, and validate your points.

  • Forgive your past self.

In order to kill your demons, you have to confront them first, work on banishing your dark sides with the light of your forgiveness, show willingness to not only fight those demons but to have the power to accept them. Focus on who you want to become, instead of blaming yourself for what you might or might not have done.

  • Exercise.

Loving yourself is accepting it and changing what can be changed to the better. Leading a healthy life can have positive outcomes, on both your mental and physical health.

Eat healthy food, and monitor your change, the results will boost your confidence.

  • Stop focusing on winning people’s approvals.

And try to focus on wining yours! Your approval is the only one that matters, if something makes you happy then do it. Don’t wait around for someone’s permission to do what you love, and you surely don’t have to do what everyone else is doing.

 

 

 

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Entertainment

BBC interviews Al-Daheh Ahmed El-Ghandour

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“Meet the geek behind Egypt’s hit online science show” was the title that BBC has given to its interview with our own Ahmed El Ghandour aka ‘Al-Daheh’, and it gives us pride to have one of our brilliant minds being acknowledged by such a well-known media platform.

El Ghandour launched his science blog back in 2014, and now his channel has clocked up more than 19 million views.

He might just be the only person who is capable of turning science into something fun, accessible and understandable to all segments that follow his blog.

“I love all scientific subjects, never really stuck to learning only one.” Al-Ghandour tells BBC.

And that’s what makes his blog even more interesting, and succeeds in attracting different segments; seeing that he covers topics ranging from evolution to war, from science to history and more.

He describes the character of Al-Daheh as lonely, nerdy and insecure. Always appearing by himself on the show. I believe this is one of the reasons that his blog is succeeding, because the character of Al-Daheh is one that appeals to all and gets you hooked to know more, he always tells the information in a fun, kind of a weird way.

One of the theories on how countries evolve and ways towards gaining sustainable development, is the education entertainment theory. And that is through spreading awareness and  educating masses by means of entertainment. This is why, Al-Daheh is a personal favorite to me, and one of the few influencers to be using his platform in doing his fans real good.

Link for the interview: http://www.bbc.com/capital/story/20190215-meet-the-geek-behind-egypts-hit-online-science-show

 

 

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